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Woke Man Ashamedly Admits
He Has a Penis.
And It’s White.

A white man regretting he has a penis.

MUNCIE, INDIANA – Throughout the country, recently-woke men are making the horrible discovery that, between their legs, they have a penis.

One such man made this chilling discovery after taking the mandatory classes on Male Privilege at Ball State.

We will call him “Richard”.

“After those classes, I finally had to admit to myself that I have a penis,” said Richard, “and that makes me evil.”

Richard then paused for a moment.

“And it’s white. I understand those are the worst.”

“Absolutely,” said Dr. Jennifer Linder, a professor of Man Hatred at Wesleyan University. “White penises are the worst. Nothing perpetuates the white patriarchy more than a white penis.”

“Throughout history, Western civilization has always been plagued by white penises, and they’ve caused tremendous damage,” said Linder. “Global climate change, the eruption of Mount Vesuvius, the sinking of the Titanic.... Even the Black Death was caused by a White Penis.”

As recently-woke men struggle to cope with their newly-discovered birth defect, therapists are seeing more and more penis cases.

“It’s hard to come to terms with having a penis,” said one therapist. “Especially when you learn what damage you’ve caused throughout history. There’s no way to avoid your responsibility.”

Many of these disgusting phallus-mongers are repentant, and want to make amends for their evilness.

“I want to make up for all of the historical damage caused by me and my penis,” said Richard. “Unfortunately, I can’t afford gender reassignment surgery, and the US doesn’t have socialized medicine...which is also due to white penises.”

“So from now on my white penis will identify as an Asian vagina.”

"Unless that’s not woke enough, in which case my penis will be a vagina of another race that’s higher up on the victimhood scale."

- The Satirized Evening Post
March 3, 2020

The History of Satire and Parody:

The Oxford dictionary defines satire as "the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people's stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues."

Satire, it is said, has existed at every place and time where there has been government, religion, or any type of social structure. Researchers have found examples of satire in texts from as far back as ancient Egypt and ancient Greece.

Parody is a form of satire which is (as the Oxford dictionary defines it) "an imitation of the style of a particular writer, artist, or genre with deliberate exaggeration for comic effect."

Parody is considered such an important form of free speech that US Copyright laws have a specific "fair use" exemption for parody.
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