Democrats Fear For Democracy If
A Majority Of The People Vote Them Out Of Office
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Speaking at the awards ceremony for the annual Toner Prizes for Excellence in Political
Reporting, Nancy Pelosi stated that she feared for democracy if a majority of voters voted Democrats out of office in
the mid-term elections.
“It is absolutely essential for our democracy that we win,” the speaker of the House said.
A spokesperson for the DNC agreed with Pelosi's sentiment.
“It’s amazing that, in a modern-day democracy, some people think that the country should get a certain set of politicians
and policies, just because a majority of people voted for them.”
“Democracy isn’t doing what a majority of the ‘Average Joes’ vote for. It’s a small cabal of people, running everything,
doing what they know is best.”
“This is why we need unrestricted immigration, control of the media, and lax voter ID requirements. Otherwise it’s very
difficult for us to stay in power, and implement our unpopular policies.”
“As a Democracy, we must overcome the problem that the average American doesn’t always vote the way we tell them to.”
- The Satirized Evening Post
April 5, 2022