Trans-Woman Runner Who Dropped Out Of Race Identifies As Finishing First
A trans-woman runner who dropped out of a recent 10K run is suing the race organizers for unfairly
denying her victory after she clearly stated that she identified as the winner.
Bryan Taken, a trans-woman who goes by the name Bree-Ann, entered the Chattanooga New Year’s Eve
Women’s Fun Run, but dropped out mid-way through the race, apparently exhausted and unable to finish.
However, Taken immediately announced she identified as winning the race, and demand the first place
trophy.
“Race officials refuse to acknowledge me as the trans-winner,” Taken said. “That’s bigoted and
trans-phobic, and they’re depriving me of my human rights.”
“I identify as working and training very hard for this,” complained the 300-lb Taken, eating a
hot-fudge sundae. “If only you knew the imagined sacrifices I’ve made.”
The wheelchair-bound Taken also claims to identify as having two good legs.
As of publishing time, Ms. Taken was considering identifying as a person of color, so she could also
accuse race officials of racism.
- The Satirized Evening Post
December 31, 2025