Politico Claims It Can Quit USAID
Anytime It Wants
In response to allegations that Politico was accepting a large amount of money from the federal
government, a spokesperson for Politico released the following statement:
POLITICO has been the subject of debate on X this week. Some of it has been misinformed, and some
of it has been flat-out false. Let’s set the record straight.
Politico is not addicted to government money.
We can quit anytime we want.
We don’t use it that much.
These are subscription donations, so it’s OK to take more of them.
We only take overly-priced subscription money, so we can’t be dependent on it.
It’s not as bad as government funding.
It hasn’t changed us at all.
It’s not hurting anyone.
We are still able to do what we’ve always done.
We just need these subscriptions to get through the day.
- The Satirized Evening Post
February 7, 2025