Democrats Complain Trumps Gay Nominees Just Aren’t Gay Enough
Democrats are criticizing President Trump’s nominations, claiming that even though he’s nominated
numerous gay people, the gay nominees just aren’t gay enough.
“Sure, they claim to be gay,” says a Democratic spokesperson, “but all of his supposedly ‘gay’
nominees all look and dress completely normally. They also don’t advertise their sexual orientation
every 5 minutes.”
“Clearly they don’t know much about being gay.”
“Take Tammy Bruce, for example. Where’s her butch haircut? Where are her plaid flannels and hiking
boots? Looking at her, you’d never know she’s gay.”
“I’ll bet she doesn’t even own a cat.”
The spokesperson was equally critical of the male nominees.
“None of those guys could remotely be considered ‘flaming’. I mean….gray suits, power ties, and
wing-tips?! They all could take a few tips from ‘Queer Eye’.”
“I’ll bet none of them even know which end of a butt-plug is ‘up’.”
The spokesperson insisted that as long as Republicans keep hiring LBTQ+ people for their abilities,
instead of their flamboyancy, we’ll never achieve equity.
- The Satirized Evening Post
January 18, 2025