Disney Insists There’s “Nothing Wrong” After Animatronic “Hall Of Presidents” Biden Wanders Off Stage In Wrong Direction
ORLANDO, FLORIDA – For the fifth time in the last two weeks, the animatronic automaton of
President Biden in Walt Disney World’s “Hall Of Presidents” abruptly wandered off stage during
the middle of a performance.
While guests were concerned, a Disney spokesperson downplayed the event.
“This is completely normal,” the spokesperson said. “For more life-like behavior, automatons are
programmed to react to what they see in their environment. In these cases, the automaton must have
seen a teleprompter. Or some ice cream.”
However, the apparent malfunctions are not limited to just wandering off. Critics point out the
Biden automaton initially had a speaking part, but that has since been removed.
“We experienced some very minor issues with his speech,” the spokesperson explained. “The
automaton often couldn’t finish sentences, and kept calling Andrew Jackson the President Of Egypt.
We felt this speech took away from his presidential aura, so we discontinued it.”
The most concerning incident, however, was when the automaton tripped, fell over, and burst into
flames.
The spokesperson dismissed this as normal, claiming, “I’m sure all of us have caught fire at least
once or twice in our lives.”
Although Disney claims the Biden automaton is doing a great job, they say they ultimately may have
to remove him completely, as he keeps allowing people to sneak in without wristbands, and is
generally costing everyone too much money.
- The Satirized Evening Post
Febuary 10, 2024