New Doctor Group Protests Any Genocide That’s Not Against Jews
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Yesterday, the newly-form group, Doctors Against Non-jewish Genocide
(DANG), staged a selective protest about the genocidal situation in the Middle East.
“Everyone is against genocide,” said the speaker. But we’re not here to protest your run-of-the-mill
genocides...you know, when people kill Jews. We’re here to protest these new-fangled genocides,
like when people stop Hamas from killing Jews.”
“Look at the history! People like Hamas have been killing Jews literally for thousands of years.
It literally kills Hamas to not kill Jews. It’s in the Hamas charter, for God’s sake! Preventing
them is like a genocide against them!”
Critics pointed out that the definition of the word ‘genocide’ is deliberately killing of a large
number of people from a particular nation or ethnic group with the aim of destroying that nation or
group. Preventing this from happening is actually the opposite of that.
“Sticking to those old patriarchal definitions of words just oppresses the marginalized,” the DANG
speaker replied. “We have to embrace the new definition of ‘genocide’, which is when people stop
somebody from killing Jews. That’s the type of ‘genocide’ we’re against!”
When critics again stated they were miss-using the term, the speaker announced, “No…when speaking
about this situation, we’ve shouted the word ‘genocide’ over 100 times, so that officially changes
the definition. We can’t help it if you aren’t smart enough to be as enlightened as we are.”
The speaker went on to say that “racism” is treating all races the same way, it’s “anti-women” to
protect biological women, and “anti-child” to prevent people from mutilating children’s genitalia.
- The Satirized Evening Post
December 27, 2023