Hunter Biden Went to Church and Claimed
He Was The Most High
MALIBU, CALIFORNIA – On Sunday, Hunter Biden reportedly walked into Our Lady of Malibu Catholic Church, and
claimed that he was the “Most High”.
During the homily, when the pastor used the phrase “The Most High”, Hunter piped up and replied, “That’s me!”
“We knew he wasn’t being blasphemous,” said Fr. Rodney Abernathy, “but instead was confused.”
The pastor explained to Hunter that it was a term of reverence: God is the ‘Most High’.
Hunter smiled, and replied, “I dunno...I’m PRETTY HIII-iiigh…!”
“We don’t mean that kind of ‘high’,” the pastor said. “We mean “Heavenly”.’”
Hunter, who had removed one of his shoes and was intently examining it, chuckled and mumbled, “Heavenly...!”.
The pastor again tried to correct Hunter, saying they meant “God is higher, above all else”.
Biden just rocked his head back, saying, ”Not is as high as *I* am…!”
At this point, the secret service found him, and began escorting him out.
On the way, Hunter banged his shoe against his skull, and exclaimed, “I AM SO WASTED!”
Biden then laughed himself silly at his own joke, and vomited on an usher.
- The Satirized Evening Post
July 20, 2022