Biden Administration Slams Tampa Bay
for Bringing Back Tom Brady
Instead of Hiring a Woman of Color

Tom Brady cancelled

WASHINGTON, D.C. – After the Tampa Bay Buccaneers announced they were bringing back legendary quarterback Tom Brady, the Biden Administration slammed them for not promising to only consider women of color.

“Brady may be the greatest quarterback of all time,” said Jen Psaki, “but he’s not a black female.”

“One has to question Tampa’s priorities.”

Psaki then explained the benefits of Diversity.

“When an organization only considers candidates from one group – white males – it misses people outside that pool that may be better candidates. This is why Biden only considered women of color.”

Psaki then suggest three candidates that Tampa should have considered:

“Debi Thomas was a world champion in ice skating, and then became an orthopedic surgeon.”

“Jacqueline Joyner-Kersee competed in four different Olympics, won three gold medals, and was voted as the Greatest Female Athlete of All-Time by Sports Illustrated.”

“Florence Griffith Joyner won three gold medals in track at the 1988 Olympics.”

Psaki quipped, “All of these women are extremely qualified, and are available.”

Critics point out that Tom Brady is the GOAT, and none of these candidates can play quarterback as well as he can. Not only do they have little experience playing football, but Thomas is 54, Joyner-Kersee is 60, and Griffith Joyner is dead.

“She may be dead but she’s still Black and Female, so she gets high marks across the board.”

Critics then asked, if the Biden Administration believes in Diversity, why aren’t they also pushing the NFL to have more Asian players.

Psaki replied, "We're not talking about including people from a wide variety of groups...just from certain groups.”

"That's what we mean by 'Diversity'."

- The Satirized Evening Post
March 14, 2022

Return to Main Page