Twitter Bans The Branch Of Science Known As Biology For Making False And Hurtful Statements

Twitter cancelling Biology

SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA – Yesterday, Twitter banned the branch of science known as Biology for pointing out that a biological male who identifies as female is, biologically, still a male.

“This is the second time Biological Science has gone against our ‘Hateful Conduct’ policy,” said a Twitter spokesperson. “We gave it a stern warning it after it stated that, scientifically, a fetus is a human being. But after claiming that transgender individuals who identify as women are still biologically men, Biological Science simply had to be banned.”

“The problem with pseudo-sciences like Biology, Chemistry, and Physics is that they haven’t kept up with the times," the spokesperson continued. "They need to update their conclusions to be more ‘woke’, and incorporate discoveries by the more pure branches of science, like Gender and Ethnic studies.”

“At Twitter, we do not allow false statements that are offensive. And if we find a ‘fact’ offensive, it can’t be a fact.”

“If Biological Science doesn’t agree with what Gender Studies research has found, then it’s being anti-science.”

- The Satirized Evening Post
January 9, 2022

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