Al Sharpton:
“We Shall Say 'Racism' Again To You
If You Do Not Appease Us”

The Knights Who Until Recently Said 'Ni!'

HARLEM, NEW YORK – As Democratic leadership looks to abolish the Senate filibuster, two moderate Democrat Senators – Joe Manchin and Kyrsten Sinema – have come out against the idea.

Yesterday, Reverend Al Sharpton took it upon himself to warn Manchin and Sinema that either they comply with his wishes, or they will face his wrath.

“We are the Knights Who Say ‘Racism!’”, Sharpton said to the moderates. “We are the keepers of the sacred words: 'Racism...Bias...and Whiiiite Privilege'.”

“Whiiiite Privilege!” echoed an acolyte, who was quickly “shhh-ed”.

“The Knights Who Say ‘Racism!’ demand a sacrifice,” continued Sharpton.

The moderate Democrats tried to explain themselves, but Sharpton cut them off.

“RACISM! RACISM! RACISM!” shouted Sharpton and his entourage.

Knowing the power of this sacred word, and what is has done to Republicans, the moderates cowered in fear.

Sharpton said, “We shall say ‘Racism!’ again to you if you do not appease us.”

The moderates asked what Sharpton wanted.

“We filibusters!”, Sharpton demanded.

Knowing that the Democrats just used numerous filibusters during Trump’s Presidency, and it wasn’t considered racist then, the moderates hesitated.

“RACISM! RACISM! RACISM!” Sharpton shouted at them. “...BIAS! ...WHIIIITE PRIVILEGE!”

The moderates cowered even further.

Sharpton continued, saying, “You must return here with filibusters abolished or shall not pass through the court of public opinion...ALIVE!”

They asked what would happen after they eliminated the filibuster.

“ must cut down the mightiest country in the world...with...a Socialism!”

- The Satirized Evening Post
March 26, 2021

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