After ‘Defunding The Police,’ NYC First Lady Suggests Creating a Group of Designated Badge-Carrying
Citizens to Intervene in Violent Crimes
NEW YORK, NEW YORK – After pushing New York Mayor Bill de Blasio to “defund the police” by transferring police
funds to youth initiatives and social services, and seeing crime rates double as a result, New York’s first lady is
now asking the citizens to intervene in violent crimes.
“For some unknown reason, crime rates rose after we cut funding to the police,” said Chirlane McCray, wife of Mayor
Bill de Blasio. “So we are now asking citizens to help fight crime.”
“Perhaps we could create a special group of citizens who are officially designated to intervene in crimes,” said McCray.
“They could wear special uniforms, maybe carry badges, and drive around in cars with special lights, so people would
know who they are.”
“We could give these citizens special training, set up a central number people could call, and have their leader report
directly to the mayor.
“Perhaps the city could even pay them," said McCray.
"It certainly would be worth spending money on this.”
The Mayor praised his wife for her innovative solution.
“That’s exactly how we can solve this truly unique problem,” said de Blasio.
“With out-of-the-box thinking.”
- The Satirized Evening Post
March 8, 2021