Cuomo Claims He Was Just Encouraging Young Female Staffers to Emulate Kamala Harris

Andrew Cuomo

ALBANY, NEW YORK – In a news conference yesterday, embattled New York governor Andrew Cuomo denied sexually harassing anyone. Instead, he said he was simply encouraging his young female staffers to follow the career path of vice-President Kamala Harris.

“Look at how Kamala Harris built her career,” said Cuomo. “She was just a county-level deputy district attorney...until she started dating a politician who was 30 years her senior. He quickly appointed her to several state commissions, which lead to her becoming District Attorney of San Francisco, Attorney General of California, a US Senator, and then Vice-President of the United States.”

“Her career skyrocketed…once she was under her elder romantic mentor.”

"Just like what was done for Kamala, I was simply offering these young, nubile women experience in numerous positions.”

- The Satirized Evening Post
March 8, 2021

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