Commission on Presidential Debates Changes Rules So Biden Can Only Be asked Questions About his Favorite Milkshake

Joe Biden contemplating a milkshake

WASHINGTON, D.C. – After unilaterally deciding the candidates would be subject to a mute button, the Commission on Presidential Debates also changed the rules for the final debate between President Trump and Vice-President Joe Biden, so now Biden can only be asked questions about his favorite milkshake.

Meanwhile, Trump will be asked whether he’s stopped beating his wife.

The Trump campaign complained about this latest change, stating that the commission is clearly trying to protect Biden by helping him avoid any real scrutiny.

“That claim is unfounded,” said a spokesperson for the Commission. “Trump made the same ridiculous claim of bias when we announced Biden could use a teleprompter, that Trump must stand with his head and hands in a medieval pillory, and that the new moderator would be Adam Schiff.”

“Just because we’re allowing Schiff to throw tomatoes, fitting Trump with a ball-gag, and applying an electric shock if he mumbles anything about “Burisma”, doesn’t mean this isn’t a fair, objective debate.”

- The Satirized Evening Post
October 20, 2020

Return to Main Page