Reporters Call Trump Racist for Calling
Basketball Team "Boston" Celtics
WASHINGTON, D.C. – After President Trump referred to a basketball team as the "Boston Celtics", main-stream media outlets accused
Trump of racism for pointing out that the team comes from "Boston".
When confronted, Trump explained that the reference is accurate...because that's where the team comes from.
However, media members continued to claim this was racist, and blamed Trump for all the terrible treatment Celtics' fans face when they go
to away games.
"When the Celtics' fans travel to the Big Apple to see them play the Knicks, they suffer horrible abuse in Madison Square
Garden," said a media spokesperson. "It's not the Celtics' fault that the Knicks suck. But Knicks' fans take it out on
the Celtics' fans. And this bigoted treatment is directly attributable to Trumps hate-speech when he says the Celtics are from Boston."
Some people point out that "Boston" is not a race or ethnic group, but "Celtic" is. They argue that if there were any
room for complaints of racism, it should be about "Celtics", not about "Boston".
"That's ridiculous," said the spokesperson. "Calling them ‘Celtics’ is not offensive. ‘Celtics’ are not
a protected minority. Neither are the ‘Vikings’, ‘Canucks’, ‘Canadiens’, ‘Spartans’, or ‘The
Fighting Irish’, so those names are fine. They're nothing like calling a baseball team the ‘Indians’."
- The Satirized Evening Post
March 21, 2020