Doctors Now Prescribe Watching the Democratic Debates as a Cure for Insomnia
DARIEN, ILLINOIS – The American Academy of Sleep Medicine (AASM) now recommends that patients with extreme cases of
insomnia begin watching the Democratic Presidential debates.
"Our tests have shown these debates are highly effective for putting patients to sleep," said a spokesperson for the AASM.
"They're even better than an Al Gore speech."
"The key to falling asleep is thinking about light and superficial topics, letting the mind wander, and listening to soft
droning sounds that follow a regular repetitive pattern. Thus these debates, with their shallow feel-good proposals, the constant
chatter that provides no substance, and the repetitive droning on of ‘impeach, impeach, impeach’, are a perfect remedy."
However, doctors do not recommend watching speeches from the House of Representatives, especially if they include Nancy Pelosi.
"That woman is scary," doctors say, "She'll keep you up at night."
- The Satirized Evening Post
October 17, 2019
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