New "Red Flag" Bill Declares
Anyone Who Believes Gun Control Works
is Too Mentally Ill to Own a Gun

Gun Control Advocates

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Yesterday Republicans introduced a new gun-control bill in the U.S. Senate that declares anyone who believes gun control works should be "red-flagged" as too mentally ill to own a gun.

Democrats rejected the bill without even reading it, saying that all Republicans ideas are racist and evil.

Here is a copy of the questionnaire. According to the bill, if an applicant answers "Yes" to any of these questions, they are red-flagged:
  • Even after the Mueller Report said there was no collusion, do you still believe there was collusion?
  • Do you believe there are more than two genders?
  • Do you generally vote for Democrats?
  • When you attend your Democratic rallies, do you wear a tin-foil hat?
  • Do you believe there is a magic bag of money somewhere to fund all the free stuff that Democrats promise?
  • Has Bigfoot convinced you that Global Warming is real?
  • Do you think gun control actually works?
  • Have you ever heard of a city named Chicago?
  • You know it has strict gun control, and still has 400-500 gun-homicides every year, right?
  • Are you that friggin' dense?

- The Satirized Evening Post
August 13, 2019

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