Nigerian Tribesman Reduces his Carbon Footprint by Sabotaging Climate Conference Private Jet
ABUJA, NIGERIA – In an effort to combat Global Warming, Nigerian tribesman Pimwe Oltani reduced his carbon footprint by sabotaging
a private jet bound for the Climate Change discussion at the World Economic Forum in Davos.
Often, when rich elites want to fight global warming, instead of changing their own high-carbon habits, they spend money to convince
other people to change theirs.
It appears Mr. Oltani is emulating this behavior.
"A man came here in this jet airplane and told me the Earth was getting too hot because there was too much carbon in the air," Oltani said.
"The man said many things make more carbon, like my cooking fires, and his jet. He said he was flying to a far-away conference to talk
about this problem, and to offset the carbon his jet would make he said that I must stop making cooking fires. Instead, he gave me a
"I want to help with this problem, but I don't like this cooker. Then I realized I could offset the carbon from my fires by stopping
the jet from flying. So I took a shoe and threw it into the engine."
"Since the man will no longer fly his jet, I can continue to make cooking fires!"
Oltani said that fighting global warming made him feel he was better than the other tribesmen. Now he plans on telling everyone
they should use solar cookers like the one he does not want to use himself.
- The Satirized Evening Post
February 23, 2019
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