The Loudoun County School Superintendent
Who Blatantly Lied About A Sexual Assault
Launches An Independent Investigation Into
How His Lie Happened
ASHBURN, VIRGINIA – After Loudoun County school superintendent Scott Ziegler informed fellow school board members via
email of an alleged sexual assault in a school restroom, and then publicly claimed "we don’t have any record of assaults
occurring in our restrooms," he is now announcing he is launching an independent review of how his lie happened.
“We’ll get to the bottom of this,” said Ziegler. “We need to talk to the person who sent the email about the assault, and
the person who later stated there was no record of any assaults, and address the communication issue between them.”
A dumfounded critic pointed out that those two people were actually the same person...and it was Ziegler:
On May 28, 2021, via email, Ziegler informed the school board of the alleged assault in a restroom.
On June 22, 2021, during a school board meeting, and in front of the victim’s father, Ziegler stated that "we don’t have any
record of assaults occurring in our restrooms.”
Unfazed, Ziegler, continued.
“I’m calling for an independent investigation, lasting at least 6-12 months, that will leave no stone unturned until people
forget what happened. Then we’ll dismiss it all as a simple misunderstanding, and close the case.”
When critics claimed that the investigation was just a distraction and a white-wash attempt, Ziegler replied,
“Neither the school board, nor I, can comment on an on-going investigation.”
- The Satirized Evening Post
November 6, 2021