If It Won’t Help Sell Democrats’ Bills,
Pelosi Threatens To Throw The Media Out
Of The Democratic Party

Nancy Pelosi chastizing the press

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Last week, Nancy Pelosi warned the Press that if they didn't start doing a better job selling the $3.5 trillion 'Build Back Better' bill, she would have them thrown out of the Democratic Party.

"The Press is not carrying enough water for us," complained Pelosi. "It's nice that you ignore our scandals, and dismiss all evidence against us as Russian disinformation, but if you don't make this bill look like the best thing since sliced bread, you're not doing your job."

"What's the use having an independent, objective press if it doesn't favor us Democrats?"

Members of the Press pointed out that when President Trump was in office, they worked very hard to denigrate him, and made sure that all of their "honest mistakes" were in favor of Democrats.

"That is so 'yesterday'," dismissed Pelosi. "What have you done for us lately?"

"Frankly, I question your loyality," Pelosi fumed. "Some voters found out that the bill actually contains massive amounts of pork and 'Big Brother' provisions, and that it doesn't really cost 'zero dollars'. How could you let that happen? If you people in the Press don't have all your Fact Checkers start dismissing that negative stuff' as 'Fake News', and start praising this bill as a Godsend for working families, and I don't know how you can continue to call yourselves objective reporters."

- The Satirized Evening Post
October 19, 2021

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