Thousands of Foolish Haitians Travel Right Past Socialist Paradise Cuba
to Get to Racist Del Rio Texas
WASHINGTON, D.C. – After hearing reports of 15,000 immigrants gathering under a bridge in Del Rio,
Texas, Democrats on Capitol Hill were dumfounded that thousands of Haitian refugees would pass right by the socialist
utopia of Cuba and instead choose to come to racist, oppressive Texas.
“This is why we liberals need to make decisions for other people,” AOC bleated. “These Haitians just aren’t smart enough
to know what’s best for them.”
“Or how wonderful socialism is,” added Bernie Sanders.
The journey from Haiti to Del Rio is over 1850 miles. Haiti and Cuba are separated by only 56 miles of ocean. That’s
closer than the distance between Cuba and Key West.
“Instead of taking a quick boat ride to Cuba, they come all the way to fascist Texas,” lamented Sanders.
“Some people should not be allowed to run their own lives.”
Nancy Pelosi was incensed.
“Texas is a red state!” she exclaimed. “It’s like those idiots leaving wonderful California for fascist Texas!”
“They should just comply with what government tells them to do, not go somewhere fascist.”
Bernie Sanders agreed:
“Just because California has politicians unilaterally restricting peoples’ freedom while flouting the rules themselves,
a high homeless rate, high crime, legalized shoplifting, high taxes, water shortages, power outages, and people crapping
on the sidewalks, doesn’t mean it’s not a socialist paradise.”
“California is becoming more and more like wonderful Cuba every day.”
“But of course we must let these Haitians in our country, so they can be victims of white privilege, face inequity, and
experience the horrible discrimination.”
When asked for a comment, President Biden replied, “Two scoops” before being ushered away by his handlers.
- The Satirized Evening Post
September 22, 2021
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