Toyota Announces the 2021 “Woke” Prius with Optional Virtue Signals
SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA – Toyota has announced the new 2021 “Woke” Prius, now available with an optional Virtue
Signaling package.
The Woke Prius has all the typical features liberal progressive drivers have grown entitled to:
- Styling:
- Green tinted windows
- 1-Way Power Aloofroof
- High-Profile Non-White Wall Tires
- Safety:
- Fact-cident Avoidance System
- Blind Spot Enhancement
- Automatic Frontal and One-Sided Wind Bags
- Performance:
- Disbelief Suspension System
- Enhanced Traction/Government Control
- An eco-friendly Ego-Stroke Engine
- Driver Comfort:
- Remote Argument Start
- Clueless Entry
- Heads-Up-Your-Ass Display
All of the above features are not just standard; they’re double-standard.
There are also optional Virtue Signals, which are like turn signals, but only signal left.
Finally, every Woke Prius comes with a socialist Cradle-to-Grave warranty plan...although limitations apply.
Really, really extreme limitations.
Satisfy your liberal need to feel superior - Drive a new “Woke” Prius today!
- Green tinted windows
- 1-Way Power Aloofroof
- High-Profile Non-White Wall Tires
- Fact-cident Avoidance System
- Blind Spot Enhancement
- Automatic Frontal and One-Sided Wind Bags
- Disbelief Suspension System
- Enhanced Traction/Government Control
- An eco-friendly Ego-Stroke Engine
- Remote Argument Start
- Clueless Entry
- Heads-Up-Your-Ass Display
- The Satirized Evening Post
March 6, 2021