Democrats Call for Unity.
Democrats are Against Dissent.
Democrats have Always been Against Dissent.
WASHINGTON, D.C. – On Inauguration Day, Democrats across the country began calling for unity. They asked Republicans to
accept the fact that Biden was President, and that everyone must work together with him, for the good of
Some individuals pointed out that the Democrats had altered their position, claiming that before the election Democrats had
said that dissent was the highest form of patriotism.
One of Biden’s new assistant press secretaries calmly refuted the claim:
“The position never had been altered. Democrats are against dissent. Democrats have always been against dissent.”
The next moment there was a tremendous commotion. The news articles and YouTube videos were all wrong! It was sabotage!
The agents of Trump had been at work! The Democrats were against dissent: Democrats had always been against dissent.
A large part of the political literature of the last four years was now completely obsolete. Reports and records of all kinds,
newspapers, books, pamphlets, videos, tweets, photographs -- all had to be rectified at lightning speed. Although no
directive was ever issued, it was known that the chiefs of the newsrooms intended that within one week no reference to the
war on unity, or the alliance with dissent, should remain in existence anywhere.
Assistant Press Secretary Orwell then reminded everyone of the three slogans of the Democratic Party:
WAR IS PEACE,
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY, IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH.
- The Satirized Evening Post
January 23, 2021
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