Democrats Vow to Use Increased Government Control, Violent Protests, Censorship, Gun Control, Enemies Lists,
and Authoritarian Tactics to Fight Trump’s Fascism
WASHINGTON, D.C. – In fiery speeches yesterday, Democrats in Congress vowed to use the full power of government
to force Trump supporters to knuckle-under and obey in order to fight fascism.
“Trump and his supporters are fascists,” said Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. “And we need to assemble our jack-booted thugs
and stop them!”
A spokesperson for congressional Democrats laid out their plan.
“First, we need to stop their fascist assaults on free speech by censoring them and blocking them from using social media."
"Next, we’ll cure their closed-mindedness by putting them in indoctrination camps.”
“We’ll fight their racial discrimination by continuing to give some races preferential treatment, and their
divisiveness by continuing to blame one race for all the problems other races face.”
“We’ll take away their guns, set up Truth commissions, and arrest them when they protest before those protests turn violent.”
“Finally, we’ll punish the most ardent Trump supporters by harassing them when they appear in public, intimidating them in
their homes, and preventing them from getting jobs.”
When asked how Trump supporters will be identified, the spokesperson replied, “We’ll make enemies lists.”
“And for the most fascist Trump supporters, we’ll make them wear yellow stars and tattoo numbers on their forearms.”
“That’s how we’ll fight their fascism.”
- The Satirized Evening Post
January 15, 2021
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