Pelosi Says the Chiefs
Were Not Superbowl Winners
Because the 49ers Were Not Allowed to Call Plays
WASHINGTON, D.C. – After her hometown San Francisco 49ers lost the Superbowl to the Kansas City Chiefs, Nancy Pelosi announced that the Superbowl was
not a real game, and the Chiefs were not winners, because the 49ers were not allow to call plays.
"You cannot be the winner if you don't have a game. You don't have a game if you don't call plays."
Confused critics point out that the 49ers indeed called many plays during the game.
"After the 4th quarter ended, we weren't allowed to call plays," Nancy stated. "The next play the 49ers were going to call was guaranteed to win
the game. But the Chiefs unfairly refused to extend the game after time ran out."
Many football analysts question this. If the 49ers indeed had a fantastic play, why didn't they call it earlier when they were calling their other plays?
Instead, analysts point to the 49ers habit of trying to extend games indefinitely by repeatedly claiming their next play will be a "bombshell" so they
should be allowed to call it.
And when that play fails, the 49ers just repeat the process and claim the next play will be a "bombshell", and should be allowed.
However, the rules of football are clear. A team can call plays, when they have the ball, during the game. Once the time runs out, they can't call any more.
Senator Mazie Hirono was angered by this comment. "I don't care what kind of nice, little, legal, time-keeping rules that they came up with," she quipped.
"It was all in bad faith. The Chiefs should have negotiated with the 49ers to allow more time on the clock."
"The Chiefs are not winners," Pelosi added. "The stain will remain on the them forever. And on their accomplices, the referees."
"And Andy Reid is a dictator."
- The Satirized Evening Post
February 3, 2020