CNN Complains that Trumps Coronavirus
Task Force is Addressing the Outbreak
Instead of their Own Lack of Diversity
WASHINGTON, D.C. – On Thursday, through an article on the CNN website, CNN criticized Trumps Coronavirus task force, indicating
the task force should be more concerned about its own lack of diversity than the outbreak of the Coronavirus.
At the University of Richmond, various liberal advocates voiced similar criticisms of the task force.
"I really question their priorities," said an Ethnic Studies professor. "Why are they focusing on a global health emergency when there
are people whose feelings are being hurt?"
The World Health Organization declared a global emergency over the virus. The death toll has hit 259, and world-wide 11,374 have been
infected across a total of 26 countries.
When reminded of these statistics, the professor simply dismissed them. "The more serious and urgent problem is that the task force is
all white men. They need to stop what they're doing, look at themselves, and immediately bring in more people of color."
"And women!" a Women's Studies professor interjected. "By just saying ‘people of color’ you are furthering the patriarchy that
oppresses all women!"
A nearby student was immediately angered, saying, "That cisgender statement is offensive! I demand both of you immediately recognize that
there are many, many genders, all of which need to be represented on this Task Force before it moves forward!"
The Ethnic Studies professor took offense, and replied, "I am a racial minority. I outrank both of you on the Oppressed Minority
Grievance scale. I suggest you mind your place in the victimhood hierarchy, and show more reverence when addressing me."
The other two quickly apologized, and claimed they had unintentionally misquoted themselves.
All three then agreed that the top priority of the Coronavirus Task force should be to promote diversity, not to prevent people from dying.
- The Satirized Evening Post
February 1, 2020
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