Democrats Announce New Reality TV Show: Wheel of Impeachment
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Nancy Pelosi and the DNC have announced the Democrats have created a new reality TV show called "Wheel of Impeachment".
The contestants are Democratic Senators and Representatives. Each contestant takes a turn spinning the wheel. When it lands on a topic,
the contestant must make a case for impeachment based on that topic, before all the facts are revealed.
Then, as facts come out that disprove their accusation, they must continually tailor that accusation to see how long they can keep it alive.
When the media judges decide the accusation has run out of steam, that player's turn is over and it's the next player's turn to spin.
The winner is which-ever player keeps Trump ham-strung for the longest total time by their accusations.
By making outrageous statements that please the media judges, contestants can be granted cards that they can play at any time to extend their
accusation. Cards include:
- Race Card – Allows the contestant to use their minority status to deflect all criticism.
- Media Amnesia – Allows the contestant to instruct the media to ignore a key fact, such as the accusation was already disproven by an
investigation by a special prosecutor.
- Double Standard – Allows the contestant to be guilty of the same thing they're accusing Trump of doing. Must be played along with a Media Amnesia card.
- Trump = Hitler – Allows the contestant to mindlessly trash Trump, to distract from the fact that there is no evidence of wrong-doing,
so they can continue a baseless accusation.
- Demand Restricted Evidence – Allows the contestant to drag out an accusation by pretending they're entitled to information that they cannot legally receive.
- It's in Plain Sight – Allows contestant to claim the evidence is obvious without actually pointing to real evidence.
- Fake Impeachment – Allows the contestant to drag out their accusation by pretending to move forward with impeachment without actually doing so.
- Appeal to Common Decency – Allows a contestant to make a final move to extend their accusation one last time before it runs out of steam.
This reality show is already being broadcast during primetime on all mainstream media outlets, and is expected to run for another five years.
- The Satirized Evening Post
September 25, 2019
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