Democratic Candidates Suffer from
Form of Tourette's that
Makes them Repeatedly Yell "Racist"

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Psychologists believe a vast majority of Democrat candidates suffer from a form of Tourette syndrome where the person involuntarily yells "Racist!" whenever their ego is threatened.

The behavior is known as Narcissism-induced Coprolalia, and is a symptom of Tourette patients who have Narcissistic Personality Disorder and thus an overwhelming need to feel superior to other people.

A spokesperson for the Democratic National Committee disputes the claim. "This is laughable," they said. "It's just incredibly flawed amateur psychoanalysis by Republicans, and is ridiculous on its face."

The spokesperson was then challenged with several examples. Pointing out that ‘The Squad’ is only four people with a small Twitter following, or that there are a high number of rats in Baltimore, or that under ObamaCare many people could not keep their plans...none of those acts are the least bit racist. Yet the reaction of Democrats in each case was to claim ‘Racism!’

"That's just a r-r-r-ridiculous smear...R-R-R-RACIST-RACIST-RACIST!!!!" the spokesperson exclaimed. "Democrats do not have R-R-R-RACIST-RACIST-RACIST!!! a mental illness! We do not RACIST! uncontrollably yell ‘Racist’...RACIST-RACIST-RACIST!!! or any other R-R-R-RACIST-RACIST-RACIST! words! It's a lie! From the evil, Nazi, R-R-R-RACIST-RACIST-RACIST! white supremacist R-R-R-RACIST-RACIST! R-R-Republicans!"

The spokesperson then abruptly ended the interview, claiming that because the interviewer accused Democrats of repeatedly saying "racist" when they lose arguments, the interviewer is racist.

- The Satirized Evening Post
August 20, 2019

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