Study Finds Dodgeball Falsely Teaches Kids that Skill, Practice, and Effort Matter

VANCOUVER, BRITISH COLUMBIA – According to researchers at the Canadian Society for the Study of Education at the Congress of the Humanities and Social Sciences, playing dodgeball miss-educates children into believing that Life is a competition, and in order to win you need skill, strategy, and to put forth effort.

"Dodgeball teaches kids the wrong lessons," says a spokesperson for the research team. "The game falsely implies Life is a competition, and that everyone doesn't automatically win at everything."

"Children should not be taught that if you want to win, you need to work hard and sharpen your skills, or that strategy is important."

"After playing, one child told me they realized that ‘it's important to pick good teammates’, and that ‘you can sometimes find a way to win by figuring out what the other team is doing.’ I was horrified!"

"Next thing you know, these kids will be finding ways to succeed on their own, without government help!"

- The Satirized Evening Post
June 6, 2019

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