Mueller Applies a New Legal Standard:
Guilty Until Proven Innocent

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Turning more than two centuries of US legal precedent on its head, Special Counsel Robert Muller decided to apply a new legal standard: Guilty until proven innocent.

Today, in a prepared statement, Mueller stated, "If we had confidence the President did not commit a crime, we would have said so." This re-enforced what Mueller said in his report, "If we had confidence after a thorough investigation of the facts that the President clearly did not commit obstruction of justice, we would so state."

So rather than assume the President is innocent and look for facts to prove him guilty, Mueller took the opposite approach: Assuming the President is guilty, and saying he didn't find anything to prove him innocent.

As a rule, prosecutors do not exonerate; they assume innocence, look for facts to prove guilt, and then decide whether to recommend prosecution or not. Regardless of this restriction, Mueller still said he would have exonerated Trump if he could.

"Innocent until proven guilty" and his intent to perform extra-prosecutorial exoneration were not the only prosecutorial guidelines that Mueller decided he didn't want to follow. A prosecutors primary job is to decide whether to prosecute or not. Although he could not indict a sitting president, Mueller could have recommend a future indictment after Trump leaves office. But Mueller didn't want to do that.

Prosecutors also are not supposed to publicize the bad behavior of people they're not going to refer for charges.

But hey...what fun is there in following the rules?

I mean, why make a decision when you can further muddy the waters? You know...keep the drama going? That's much more fun.

Mueller said another reason he didn't make a direct recommendation for or against prosecution, and instead chose to provide innuendos that Trump was guilty, is that Mueller didn't want to put the President in a position where he was accused but did not have a formal arena in which to defend himself.

As a result, the President is in a position where he is accused but does not have a formal arena in which to defend himself.

- The Satirized Evening Post
May 29, 2019

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