For Heart Surgery, Mick Jagger Chooses U.S. Healthcare System because It's Inferior
and More Expensive

NEW YORK, NEW YORK – Last week, legendary British rocker Mick Jagger had heart surgery to replace his aortic valve. However, rather than using the superior and free single-payer healthcare system in his home country of England, he chose instead to use the inferior and expensive American system.

"It was only my heart – not like it was anything important. So I didn't want the best doctors," Jagger said. "I also wanted to pay a lot of money. And I preferred flying 3400 miles to get to the hospital rather than just driving down the street."

"I was just tired of the superior, free care we get back home with our single-payer system."

The surgery was a success, and Jagger is now resting comfortably in a New York hospital.

- The Satirized Evening Post
April 10, 2019

Return to Main Page