Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Proposes Regulating Cow Farts;
In Response, Frustrated Fellow Congressmen Propose Regulating Brain Farts
WASHINGTON, D.C. – After Democratic Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez proposed regulating cow farts, fellow congressmen decided
to limit how many stupid ideas she's allow to propose by introducing a bill to regulate brain farts.
Under this bill, a first-term congressperson will only be able to propose one ridiculous idea per week. If a majority of the House votes
that an idea is indeed ridiculous, the member who proposed it must refrain from speaking on the House floor or making any public comments
for five (5) business days.
If on a given day the House is closed, or the member is not on the floor, that day would not count.
After three such brain farts, the member still would be required to remain silent until they can correctly identify the three branches of
government; give the correct definitions of the word phrases "Palestinian occupation" and "ad hominem"; and correctly explain some basic
economic concepts, such as the difference between a total budget and a budget increase, how having two jobs or working 60-70-80 hours a
week does not affect the unemployment numbers, and that $21 trillion in accounting errors does not mean there was $21 trillion wasted spending.
- The Satirized Evening Post
February 7, 2019
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