French Middle Class Wants Someone Else to Solve Global Warming
PARIS, FRANCE – Called by some "the worst riots in a generation", extremely violent protests erupted in Paris this past Saturday over a new carbon
tax on gasoline designed to protect the environment. The protesters say they support environmental efforts, but that they want someone else to pay for them.
"We have to burn less fossil fuels, because air pollution is a major problem," said one protester while setting fire to an overturned car. "But President Macron is
going to have to address this without impacting me!"
Another protester helping him agreed, "Addressing Climate change is the most important thing we can do! But I can’t change my driving habits or afford to pay
this tax! The government is just going to have to force someone else to do it."
Famke Krumbmuller, a consultant on public policy initiatives, described the protesters as "white, middle-class people that are squeezed by the welfare state",
who "pay a lot of taxes but they don’t get a lot of benefits in return."
"I like big government, and big government programs that address important issues like this," a third protester said, "But other people should pay for the
programs we want, not us!"
Another man, waiving a sign that read "Think Globally, Act Locally", commented, "Instead of taxing us, President Macron should have the UN force
other
countries to reduce
their
CO2 emissions!"
These protests have spawned similar protests across Europe. Apparently it’s not just the French that have lofty environmental goals but fairly
shallow personal pockets.
- The Satirized Evening Post
December 5, 2018