Democrat Supporters Protest being called a ‘Mob’ (10/18/2018)
WASHINGTON, DC –Unhappy that some Republican politicians called them a ‘mob’, a large group of masked Democrats took to the streets of Washington DC today with
torches and pitchforks. As part of their peaceful protest, they threw rocks, smashed store windows, and turned over several vehicles, setting them on fire.
One Democratic spokesperson with a bandana obscuring his face shouted, "We are NOT a mob! Tell us who said that – we‘ll burn their house down!"
Another spokesperson wearing a black ski mask also voiced his displeasure: "Calling us a ‘mob’ is verbal violence!" he replied, putting his pitchfork down
just long enough to loot a pair of Nike Air VaporMax shoes. "Driving people out of restaurants, hounding them in their homes, punching them, making death
threats, and setting cop cars on fire – these are just regular aspects of normal peaceful protests."
Summing up the official DNC position, Hillary Clinton said, "After these protests, if Republicans don‘t stop calling Democrats a ‘mob’, we might have to
stop being civil!"
- The Satirized Evening Post
October 18, 2018